


Marauders Make Vines

by FlamboyantScientist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Btw author is English, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, M/M, This is me writing marauder era drabbles featuring vines, Vines, and lgbt, ill add more tags as we go along, no beta we die like men, rated teen for occasional swearing, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-09-24 01:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17091452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamboyantScientist/pseuds/FlamboyantScientist
Summary: Marauder drabbles inspired by vines!They’re only about 100 or so words long, literally shorts.





	1. “I spilt lipstick in your Valentino bag.”

Regulus was sat at the kitchen table at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, watching his mother rush about the kitchen with Kreacher at her heels. He could hear Sirius stomping about upstairs, cursing about his lost socks or something. Suddenly, Walburga screeched so loudly that Regulus almost dropped his spoon back into his cereal bowl. 

“Kreacher!” She screamed, “Bring me my handbag!” 

“Of course, mistress.” Kreacher bowed, then disappeared with a ‘crack’. 

Regulus went back to poking his cereal with his spoon. He knew what was coming and that it wouldn’t be pretty. And braced himself for the aftershocks as Kreacher reappeared. 

“Your handbag is being washed, mistress,” Kreacher explained, “Kreacher will ensure that it is ready as soon as possible.” 

Walburga blanched, “Washed! Why on earth would it be being washed?” 

Regulus coughed, “I spilt lipstick in your Valentino bag.”

“Wah-wah-wah— lipstick in my Valentino white bag?!” She yelled, “Regulus— how?! You don’t even— I’d expect from Sirius, but from you? Just, get out of my sight before I tell your father!” 

The youngest Black pushed himself from the table as Walburga continued shouting and fled to his bedroom.


	2. “Are those helium balloons??”

“Are you sure your dad will be okay with us borrowing his car?” Peter asked, peering forward from the back seat. 

James waved him off, “Of course, Pete. We’re only going to the shops, not like we’re enchanting it or anything.” 

Remus sighed from the passenger seat, “But we did take it without asking.” 

“It’ll be fine! Relax,” James rolled his eyes, “Look, there’s Sirius now.” 

And so, Sirius was jogging across the car park towards the car. He popped open the back door, slipping into the empty seat next to Peter before slamming the door shut behind him. 

James swung round in the drivers seat, “Are those helium balloons?” 

“For fuck’s sake...” Remus groaned into his hand. 

“Uh, yeah.” Sirius nodded, looking up at said balloons as Peter shoved one out of his face. 

“I told you; the car’s not able to hold helium balloons!” James stressed, ruffling his hair. 

“Ah, it’s too late.” Sirius shook his head solemnly. 

“We’re flying away.” James sighed, shrugging like it was out of their hands and that the car was flying away forever. 

Remus looked at his three best friends, all looking sad, as the car absolutely did not move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to suggest vines in the comments!   
> So far I have planned for:   
> \- “Shawty I don’t... mind!” Kermit Vers.   
> \- “Does god hate you if you’re gay?”   
> \- “You wanna be a dog? Roof, y’know?”   
> \- “That’s my brother!” Adam Perkins vine   
> \- “This is why mum doesn’t FUCKING love you!”


	3. “Hah, you know what that means!”

Remus looked back at the price of the chocolate frog collection in Honey Dukes, counting out his money in his hand. He huffed, looking around the busy store. He spotted James and Sirius in the corner, loading up on sweets and chocolates that he knew they both wouldn’t finish. Then he saw Peter walking past a pair of fourth year girls, trying not to jostle them. 

The werewolf grabbed the mousy haired boy when he got close enough. 

“You okay, Pete?” He asked. 

Peter smiled, “Yeah! I’m fine, don’t worry.” 

Remus looked back at the price tag, “Hey, how much money do you have?” 

Peter counted some coins into his hand with a frown, “Uh, sixty-nine Knuts?” 

Remus snorted, “Hah, know what that means!” 

Peter’s bottom lip quivered, eyes filling with tears, “I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.”

Remus’ smile fell, and he patted his friend on the shoulder, “Okay, Pete. See you later.”

He steered Peter on his way, pushing past to crowd to get to his two richer friends.


	4. “This is why mum doesn’t FUCKING love you!”

Sirius saw his younger brother at the bottom of the stairs from where he was standing with his head over the banister. The curtained portrait of his mother hung on the wall, silent, as Regulus paced the hallway with his nose in a book, muttering to himself. 

Looking back, Sirius wasn’t sure why he did it. He’d gotten into huge amounts of trouble, but the look on his brother’s face was worth it. 

Slowly, he took his wand from behind his ear and pointed it at the portrait. He waiting until his brother was standing right beneath it, then... 

He muttered a small spell, a spark shot from the end of his wand and hit the painting. The curtain flew open, and the screaming started. 

“BLOOD TRAITOR! LIAR!” His mother’s voice yelled. 

Regulus jumped so hard he dropped his book, whirling round to see Sirius over the banister, giggling. 

“This is why mum doesn’t FUCKING love you!” He yelled, pointing at Sirius who bursts out laughing. 

Yeah. He’d live to regret that.


	5. “I have a big—!” “Head!”

“You’re ridiculous, Potter,” Lily sniped, flipping her long red hair over her shoulder, “I was not here to see you, I was here to grab Frank’s book for Alice.” 

“Sure, Evans,” James smirked, “Just admit it; you’re totally in love with me.” 

Lily frowned, looking offended, “Not even if we were the last people on earth.” 

James threw a look to Sirius, who was sat on his bed watching the two interact. He grinned doggishly, and shrugged lightheartedly. 

“One day you’ll give in, Evans,” James declared confidently, “One day you will. We’ll get married and have loads to red headed, awesome-at-Quidditch children.” 

Lily rolled her green eyes with a huff, “I’m surprised your broom can even get off the ground with your head so big.” 

James’ eyes flicked slightly, “I have a big—!“ 

“Head!” Sirius finished loudly from across the room. 

“My name ain’t fucking—!“

“Fred!”

James sat backwards onto his own bed, “I’m laying on a—!“ 

“Bed!” 

“I’m wearing fucking—!“ 

“Clothes!” 

James whipped around to face his best friend, who was positively bouncing where he sat, and gestured with his tie, “Red, you moron!” 

With a scowl, Lily turned on her heel and marched down from the boys’ dormitory with Frank’s book tucked under her arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to suggest vines in the comments!  
> So far I have planned for:  
> \- “Shawty I don’t... mind!” Kermit Vers.  
> \- “Are those helium balloons?”  
> \- “Does god hate you if you’re gay?”  
> \- “You wanna be a dog? Roof, y’know?”  
> \- “That’s my brother!” Adam Perkins vine  
> \- “This is why mum doesn’t FUCKING love you!”


End file.
